


Keep walking, Timothée Chalamet

by nightfall_in_winter



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types
Genre: Heartbreak, M/M, Moving On, Past Relationship(s), Regret, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 15:35:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19254088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightfall_in_winter/pseuds/nightfall_in_winter
Summary: Timmy needs to forget the heartbreak and move on. But even at his wedding, he can't stop thinking about the past and a certain person...:(





	Keep walking, Timothée Chalamet

*****

The last few steps to the altar are always painfully slow in all movies. Is that the way it is supposed to be? So you can have a bit of time to think, to remember, to cry, to go back? To convince yourself in slow motion that this is the only place where you want to be – in the grasp of your victory over loneliness when you feel strong and risen above all heartbreak?

Mum’s words echo in my ears: _It is not your fault, Timmy. You have the right to be happy. Don’t think of the past!_

And I am not, I am not…The man who waits for me there has given me the whole world and healed all of my wounds. He will turn any second now and look me in the eye with all of the devotion and love a human being can feel…

Keep walking, Timothée Chalamet, only a few steps left, and your world will change forever.

You need to forget!

Think nothing of the knowing smiles of the film crew who knew even before you did what was happening on set and off it.

Swallow all the familiarity and care, treacherous words, soaked into his gestures when he hugged you and ruffled your hair long after the cameras have stopped working.

Shut out the way he looked at you when he waved you goodbye at Malpensa airport to go back to his life. 

Banish from your thoughts Elizabeth, all wide-eyed and angry when she yelled all these months later: _Of course, I knew! Do you think I am stupid or what?!_

Put out of your mind how he appeared and disappeared, struggling with guilt after each secret encounter, before resigning and kissing you that last time: _I can’t do this, Timmy! I must go now…_

You need to forget and keep walking…

*****

He wasn’t yours, Timothée Chalamet.

All these times when you were clinging to him so desperately, unwilling to untangle your limbs from him - in his mind, he was already on his way home. He couldn’t belong to you fully, wrapped up in his inability to break free.

Every time when his arms held you so tight, he would let go after because he could live WITHOUT you. You were a nuisance, a sweet, devoted and pliant one but a nuisance nonetheless.

He wasn’t yours! Keep walking…

 

*****

 

The man at the altar turns and looks at me like I am a vision from a fantasy dream and a tear appears at the corner of his eye. I can’t help welling up too, such is the admiration and warmth in his gaze. Another step and I am now standing next to him. This is it, no going back now. He catches my hand and whispers:

_You are beyond beautiful…_

When I blush, he leans in and adds in an even softer voice. 

_I know what you are thinking of, my love. We can’t change the past, but we can build the future. No self-deprecation allowed! Let me make you happy._

He knows me too well. Curing someone’s broken soul is not an easy job but I had the best healer.

_Are you ready?_

I breathe out a moist _Yes_ and he mouths _I love you_ almost in my hair as his warm breath is so close.

**Mr Timothee Hal Chalamet, do you take Armand Douglas Hammer as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?**

 

*****

He wasn’t yours, Timothée Chalamet! But he IS now, **_Timothée Chalamet – Hammer…_**

 

*****

**Author's Note:**

> A lunch break snippet. All over the place and unedited, sorry...


End file.
